I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
