you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
