Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
