Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Sorry my hands just texted you
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
