Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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