i already hear my dad disowning me
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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