We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
