I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
