we have officially lost it.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
