Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
