So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My hand turned me down
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Boobs are out for the taking
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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