Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
