I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
