It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
