Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
