My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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