took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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