just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
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