I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize