We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
