Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Is Oprah even human
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
