i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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