It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
