she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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