I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
