i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
