New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Randomize
