i was rollin on her like bob the builder
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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