I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
