marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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