I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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