Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
