I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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