My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
