I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
