Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
