did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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