My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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