She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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