So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
