I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
