Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
