im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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