Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
