Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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