I don't usually arrange sex via text message
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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