what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
