I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
its liver damage thursday
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
