No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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