New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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