Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You can't just leave with hair like that
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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