Umm I'm too high to move.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she smelled like a LAN party
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We left the knife in your bed.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
