.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
this just has baby written all over it
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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