In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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