Where is the hickey?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
