theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
