She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
