She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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