To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
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I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize