about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
