; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
