My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
